Today I wasted 2 hours of my life watching Prabhu ji’s movie. Did I say Prabhuji? Oh I meant Mithun Da. Is He anything less than god himself - defying laws of gravity, physics, romance and logic. Anyway, the movie was ‘Loha’ (release in 1997) and very aptly starts with a notice “All characters and incidents in this movie are imaginary…”, quite to the point. I dont know about the character, but the incidents in this movie have been churned out from the darkest depths of utmost stupidity and can be safely regarded as ‘imaginary’. Let this post serve as a warning to those who think they have the courage to digest this stuff:

[1] One of the villain is running away after raping and killing Mithun Da’s would be wife, with whom he had finished singing and dancing 5 mins back. Now this villain suddenly finds his EXACT look-alike on the road, takes out his clothes and makes him wear it (Mithun Da is still running behind him btw, quite ignorant of this great conspiracy)… finally Mithun Da shoots the innocent look alike and goes to jail
[2] The Villain brings guns and explosives in a single propellor 2-seater plane which wouldnt move if a third person jumped in
[3] Dharam paji (ya ya he was also there, but who cares when Prabhu ji is around) stops a helicopter from taking off by holding it down with a rope
[4] All the side-role actors die with a single stab of knife in their stomachs. Still there is no blood on their body
[5] The corrupt minister enjoys ‘almost-nude’ dance every evening in his house
[6] Some villains are firing their guns towards Mithun Da, which is somehow setting off explosives in His Highness’s vicinity. I could go on and on…

Those who are not yet dead or unconscious, continue reading…

Some notable dialogues from Prabhuji Himself in this movie (these rhyme better in Hindi, still I have given the English translation for those whose Hindi is week):

[1] When someone asked Him ‘Who are you’, He replies - Dekhne mein bevda, bhaagne mein ghoda, aur maarne mein hathoda [English - I look like a drunkard, run like a horse and beat like a hammer]… wow, thats a long name to put on a credit card!!
[2] Bhagwan jab deta hai to chhappar phaad kar deta hai, magar jab leta leta hai to thhappad maar kar leta hai [ummmmm.... dificult to translate - When God gives, he gives so much that the roof caves in... but when he takes, he slaps and takes all that away]… divine revenge
[3] Marne waale sun, tu kuchh ghadi ka mehmaan hai. Teri hi hukumat mein, tujhse jang ka elaan hai (I wont even bother to translae this)

Lets come back to Dharam paji, the other Iron-Man helping the divine force (thats Mithun Da) in this movie. Some would say he is the lead in this movie, but I find it diffcult to believe that anyone can take Mithun Da’s glory from the screen. Anyway, just for the records, Dharam paji stopped a bullet shot at him with his bare hands. This was followed by two lines of poetry from him which I dont care to remember.

Best Thing About This Movie:
Mithun Da dies in it

Best Moments In This Movie:
My operating system hung for 2 mins during which this movie refused to play

 Note: For non-Indian readers, Mithun Da can be safely described as “Wild Imagination Let Loose On Steven Seagal”…. got the picture now?